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DAVE KING URGES FANS TO SPEND, SPEND, SPEND!

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The unerring and razor-sharp business mind of Dave King has done it again! He has, yet again, out-manoeuvred everyone who has stood in his way and is on a path to riches beyond the wildest dreams of even the likes of Sir David Murray. 

In a masterstroke, he is about to ask the loyal fans to dig deep into their own pockets and buy the Rangers* kit that is already half way through its shelf life. 

The drip down from this personal wealth will surely be enough to sate even the more sceptical foot soldier.

This brave move allows him to circumvent the embarrassment of continual knock-backs from potential, institutional investors. 

And who would grudge him the opportunity to increase his own personal wealth? What a guy. And what a natural-born leader. All hail the King!

In its own modest way, the Daily Record has produced this one-off tribute edition to the ‘deal of the century’ which may well mean that the Gers get upwards of 8p in the pound per jersey in the re-structured deal announced yesterday. 

In years to come, when Rangers* are but a memory, you can proudly say, ‘I was there. I bought the football top-shaped newspaper!’

Disclaimer: There are other football kits available and Record Sport in no way endorses the Gers kit ahead of any other team’s sportswear. It’s just that it is so nice …in that lovely shade of Royal Blue. 

FROM DAVE THE KNAVE TO KING DAVID!

See all that stuff we wrote about Mr. King? Well, none of it was true.

Whilst other newspaper titles continue to castigate the Rangers* Royalty, with such disparaging and frankly, unwarranted descriptions such as ‘the disgraced criminal fraudster’, Record Sport is satisfied that the Gers’ General has all the necessary business acumen to ensure that loyal fans prop up the ailing club by putting money into the coffers, now that the loans have dried up. 

Surely now, Dave can be acclaimed as the best Scottish entrepreneur, apart from Sir David Murray?

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