CELTIC – IN THE HOAX OF LISBON! Tomorrow’s front page, almost ready to go to print, revealed!
WE SEND OUR REPORTER BACK IN TIME TO REVEAL THE TRUTH!
In an desperate attempt to uncover the truth about the biggest hoax in world football, the Record Sport team can now reveal to be true, what loyal football fans across the globe have always suspected.
Our time-travelling reporter took a photograph seconds before the famous iconic image of Billy McNeill ‘lifting the European Cup’ and what it revealed has staggered and DELIGHTED our intrepid team, in equal measure!
The Record will now campaign relentlessly on behalf of all true blue The Rangers fans to right this wrong and to stop all planned broadcasts which feature this sham. Concerned readers can call our HOTLINE if they see or hear any mention of Lisbon 1967 on our tax-funded national TV and Radio networks.
Gilligan proud to be replaced by loyal Red Squirrel
In a move that caught out all of us Rangers* followers, John Gilligan stepped aside to make way for a truly inspired appointment.
As the memories fade of the once glorious Chairman, David Cunningham King (convicted fraudster), there’s a new show in town!
Howie the Squirrel is set to fill many column inches in our staunch publication.
This change at the top couldn’t have come at a better time.
As the green side of the city prepare to embarrass themselves by celebrating what our main story has revealed as a SHAM, a CON, a TRAVESTY, the cute squirrel will take it’s place in the Pantheon of dignity at Ibrox.
Howie is an indigenous squirrel, so there is no dubiety about his origins.
AND IN THE REAL NEWS…
— Celtic Football Club (@celticfc) May 24, 2017