Brown Brogues & Blazer for sale by one staunch careless owner


I was about to pay tribute to Chris Graham’s indefatigability tonight. His work to overthrow the previous regime so that the King could secure the throne was work of the highest order. From calling on his fellow fans to boycott season ticket sales so that it would cause financial issues with the club, to the constant haranguing of board members which included personal insults – Chris’ tireless efforts to whitewash over his past exploits as a supporter of Craig Whyte and Charles Green worked as well as could be expected for the self-appointed fan representative.

For that tireless pursuit of spivs and thieves as he labelled them, Chris was rewarded with a place on the Rangers Supporters Trust board. A couple of finger-pointing statements later and as Dave King’s coup d’etat succeeded in overthrowing the previous regime, Chris Graham was handed a parcel.

Within that parcel delivered by Blue Staunch Arrow, was a new pair of shiny brown brogues, a Rangers club tie and a neatly designed off the shelf blazer in royal blue. If that was enough there was a letter addressed to Chris from the King appointing the bold Chris to the King’s court and an invitation to a free seat in the director’s box alongside such illustrious dignitaries as Craig Houston [Sons of Struth], Mark Dingwall [Follow Follow] and David Leggat [Retired journalist turned the bampots bampot].

Now it was strange that the King would appoint a fan representative to the board who had not been voted for by the fans as the Rangers Fans Board had been only several months before. That board had been disbanded in February after publishing off the record comments from former Rangers director Barry Leach.

However, those 12 elected members could certainly have been called upon to sit at the King’s table to represent the fans that had voted for them. So it was certainly strange that the man who had run on the transparency key would elect a man who he conspired with to force the club last year to hand security of Ibrox stadium and Murray Park over to them in exchange for withheld season ticket revenue.

In fact, there were murmurs that Chris had signed a pact with the King to secure his place on the board in exchange for doing his bidding and being the face of the fan revolt – of course this could not be proven but it is what many Rangers fans believed and posted on fan forums and social media sites.

But personally it was pleasing to see Chris take his place among the staunchest of staunchers at Ibrox on Tuesday night for his first home game at Ibrox this season – as he lifted his self-imposed exile following the EGM victory. He cheered on his beloved Rangers, he worked his way through the little blue book of Rangers songs and he sat there at the end of the game bewildered as to how his beloved Rangers failed to secure all three points against Queen of the South – then he saw Bilel Moshni playing and he sighed with a great realisation.

This morning brought a slight headache from the night before with the bubbly flowing down the Louden to celebrate the staunchest sitting in the stauchy Rangers seats. That headache dissipated within Chris as news broke that former Rangers player and club legend Stuart McCall would become the third Rangers manager this season – until the end of the season.

Another party down the Louden beckoned but as he tried to quickly text the other staunchest of staunchys, his mobile rang to inform him that the newly appointed and staunchest of staunchy Rangers directors was under investigation over comments made on his social media site.

A Rangers director needs to be not only staunch but also dignified and while Chris was the staunchiest of staunchy directors, he lacked the dignified staunchness that oozes out of Rangers directors.

While he may have been the fan that King wanted on the board, in part due him being King’s ready-made patsy, it seems that even King cannot be seen to support someone with a history likes Chris’.

It has now been reported that Chris is being investigated over a ‘sexually explicit’ cartoon of the prophet Mohammed back in January following the shocking terrorist attack on the satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo office in Paris by two gunmen.

Chris posted a caricature of the prophet Mohammed showing Star Wars character Jar Jar Binks what ‘palm and her five sisters meant’ to radical Islamist preacher Anjem Choudary following the terror attack, after he had posted a tweet saying “freedom of expression does not extend to insulting the prophets of Allah, whatever your views on the events in Paris today!”

While the 38-year-old restricted his twitter account before he was announced as a newly appointed Rangers director, his past exploits as a twitter troll went viral yesterday – which included the tweet that he is now being investigated over.

Rangers issued a statement tonight, saying: “We are unaware of this but we will look into it.”

Strange that they were unaware of Chris Graham’s work on social media when he was their middle man with the fans for several years.

It is also strange that they failed to notice Chris’s comments about those Rangers fans who renewed their season tickets last season, who he labelled as ‘a cancer’ or the female Rangers fan who asked him a perfectly valid question about the season ticket boycott only to be labelled a moron.

All of that is above and beyond his enemies of Rangers list he concocted, his personal insults aimed at former Celtic manager Neil Lennon, his support of disgraced former Rangers owner Craig Whyte and even the Yorkshireman, Charles Green, the man with the big hands and big sleeves.

Rangers cannot be seen to ally themselves with an individual who has peddled what is in effect a homophobic and anti-muslim tweet aimed at a muslim – whether or not we agree with said preacher’s comments before, during and after the terrorist attack.

Would it be accepted if he had aimed a similar sort of tweet to Catholics? What if it had been a newly appointed Celtic director who had adorned his twitter timeline with a caricature of King Billy and his white charger? Or directed it at blacks or Asians?

With Dave King yet to tackle or even comment on the sectarian problem within the Ibrox side’s fan base since he has taken over at the club, he cannot be seen to whitewash over such a serious and clear issue of homophobia and racism.

Maybe if the new Rangers board had focused MORE on looking into the background of those who they were appointing to keep the fans sweet, rather than celebrating their coup d’etat with a willing Scottish mainstream media fed with scraps from Jim Traynors table, then they wouldn’t need to see further negative headlines tonight when they thought such things were behind them.

Chris really should have practiced what he preached. When former Rangers chief executive Charles Green used racist language in relation to fellow director Imran Ahmad, Graham was so outraged that he went to the press to declare his offence over the comments.

Commenting before his own indiscretions, Chris said: “Finally and possibly most seriously for his future at Rangers, is Green’s use of racist language. I don’t know Charles Green well enough to know if he is a racist. I suspect however that he isn’t, given his close friendship with the man he was discussing.

“However, whether he is or not is irrelevant. Nobody associated with Rangers should be using that type of language. Green has made a big play, quite correctly, of wanting to see Rangers back up among Europe’s elite at the end of this rebuilding process. If a director of one of Europe’s elite clubs had made such a comment it is my firm belief they would have been sacked or forced to resign. Should Rangers be any different?”

So what will Chris do if his place at the King’s table is removed?

Well he could either frame his club blazer and tie, with his brown brogues on his mantlepiece in pride of place or he could sell them on Gumtree to buy a season ticket at the club he was a director of and breaking the record in being the shortest ever serving one at that.
One Staunch careless owner.


About Author


Andy Muirhead is the Editor of Scotzine and the Scottish Football fanzine FITBA. He is the Scottish Football columnist for The Morning Star and has written for a number of other publications including ESPN, Huffington Post UK, BT Life's a Pitch and has had his work featured in the Daily Record, The Scotsman and the Daily Mail.

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